"I am so beautiful"

I remember when I was younger there was no end to the compliments that I would get.  I wouldn't think twice about how I would be perceived when I went out.  I would get dressed in any little or tight outfit that I wanted, I'd go out and I would feel absolutely great about myself.  I would see guys eyeing me and I'd eye them back...I'd even 'brace' (ignore) a few guys (good looking or not) because I knew I could.  Both, men & women, friends or strangers, would compliment me and although I didn't always accept the compliments from the guys gracefully (it always made me feel uncomfortable getting compliments from guys - esp. if I knew they had a girlfriend - so instead of simply saying "thank you", I'd spin it on them and say "don't you have a girlfriend?" - of course a close friend or two have had to say to me more than once "girl, you don't know how to take a compliment or what?").  BUT, secretly inside I was beaming or blushing with pride!  I even remember never wanting to be vain or letting it get to my head.

Now......I wish I could get just 1 compliment!  I'm not picky…..just once in a little while…..a little, genuine..."you look beautiful, ravishing maybe" would do.  And I don't care who I get it from, my fiancé, my girlfriends, my uncle-in-law twice removed, the vagrant around the corner…..I don't care.... somebody... anybody!!! 

Now honestly, when I am home and getting ready for a night out in the town (after all the changes of clothes of course) and I've put on my make up and decked up myself with a nice new top and accessories and I look at myself in the mirror….I do think, "hey, you've done well, you look gooooood, you are definitely going to catch somebody's eyes tonight"….I step out the bathroom or bedroom (had to have one last look at myself) ...I am beaming, smiling like a Cheshire cat and I wait expectantly for it…..but nada, nothing, not one compliment.   So I think, okay, I kept him back, he’s in a bad mood.   My girlfriends will make up for it.  But again….nothing!  Not even “hey, nice top, nice shoe, nice earrings”…nothing!

I mean, I know I don’t look the way I use to look.  I know I am a few (shy) pounds heavier than I was, but… I still take pride in the way I look when I go for a night out.  I still take the same amount of time to choose an outfit, to accessorize and to put on my makeup that I use to when I was younger and again, slimmer.  And, I know, I am looking good.  So why is it so hard to pay just one compliment?  Is it that I am really imagining that I am looking good tonight?  Is it that you feel that if you say… ‘hey you look lovely tonight’…that I’d get complacent and stay this way?  Well buddy…I am already this way & your silence isn’t helping in any way!

I just want to say….fat people don’t just get depressed because they are fat …they get depressed because people only see them as fat.

So go out and tell your sister, brother, cousin, uncle, aunt, friend or even an arbitrary stranger…. “you look great today!”  Put a J on someone’s face today & stop seeing only the fat (on yourself or on others)!!!!